I've had a very creative day one of this challenge. I was able to move through any discouragement in my space and really start creating more. I have had some interesting experiences lately regarding my health, my relationships, family, home, money, wow.....almost every aspect of my life has been going through major re-evaluation and change lately.
I have found myself (or my mind, that is) asking lots of questions about what I really want to give more of in my life right now. I have been blessed with such a talent for creativity and sometimes I get overwhelmed with the amount of ideas that I can have in just one day. I crave for creativity.....for art, for crafting, for songwriting, for movement. There are times when I literally spin with the excitement and also sort of weird high I get when I am inspired and motivated.
Right now I am about to transition into a new living space, a new wheelchair (YES a sparkly one), and possibly add on a new job. My family dynamic is shifting.....people I thought would be in my life forever are no longer there.....people are also coming back into my space that I thought had left. What a whirlwind!
What I always find comforting for me is that this is evidence that I am ready to stretch into the next "me." I know and trust in my intuition that everything is restructuring to create the space for me to really step up, show up, and Rise UP to live my life purpose in a more stable and free way. My heart knows I am ready for this change....to take on the responsibility of really creating a financial freedom to support myself and others.
I've even had a recent viewpoint shift that allowed me to visualize and actually feel the reality of creating a family life.....you know the "normal" life that I never thought I would have!!! Yes....I can clearly see myself as a beautiful and happy pregannt woman in a wheelchair. I don't doubt that there is a way and a path for this creation and I'm not sure if I will step into that reality....but I know it's there and I finally let myself feel it instead of resisting it.
Whatever this feeling is....it is fascinating me. I can see how I have spent a lot of attention and energy trying to not be like everyone else....not be so normal....and in doing that I have struggled to survive, had less stable of relationships, and failed to create a solid financial foundation for myself.
Well you know what higher self? Universe? I am READY to be normal....except in finally allowing myself to live a human life that is more stable....I am going to make every simple thing sacred. I am determined to bring my normal self and normal life into a sacred space of simplicity, reverence, gratitude, and AWESOMENESS. I decide to create an extra-Ordinary life just being me.
As for who this will be with....I truly don't know. Whenever I think I have found that someone...life seems to pull into other directions. I do feel that we all cross paths for a reason...to learn certain lessons, develop different parts of ourselves, see what we are resisting.....most importantly we have opportunities to learn love and compassion for ourselves and others.
plus...I have changed so much over the last year.
I'm driving myself around....giving other friends rides who need them (huge karmic reward). I had no idea what I had been missing for those 3 years. I thought I had the world then....but NOW! watch out .....I'm making a huge comeback!
I also dated someone for the first time since my injury.....and it was so beautiful and awesome. I learned a lot and I'm so grateful to have taken that step as a woman in a wheelchair. I guess I didn't truly feel (even though I "knew") that I could be seen in that way....that someone could totally not have attention on the chair...just on "me" and me. It is so shocking to find that any idea I was holding that a person wouldn't really want to date a girl in a wheelchair, is gone. Thanks to this experience.
There is more here to write about but for now I'm off to sleep and integrate my day one.
I'm so incredibly grateful for life today, for my creative gifts, for the new moon, for friendship, for my sweet mother, for intuition, for guidance from above, and for the smile inside me that bursts out when I am directing my attention towards my purpose......when I shine for others, it lets my heart out again.
Excited to share more with everyone.
I am so loved and blessed.....love to all of you and thank you for the shared journey as always.
Love, Laurie
PS ~ This is a new blog....as I was locked out of my old Google account. If you want to read more of my journey from 2010-2015 please go to this link here ~ https://orchidsandfireworks.blogspot.com
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