Part of this feels like I am meant to be a beacon for children. I am very playful and child-like in my personality. I can do the same activity with even the littlest piece of paper for hours and find some way to stay entertained and keep a child smiling. These are a part of my gift to humanity.
But then there is the "staying small" part.....I've noticed that as a default pattern in uncomfortable situations...or just plain NOT taking personal responsibility....that I actually create myself as though I am still a child. I have handed over all responsibility and feel sort of trapped in these areas. Very interesting!
Well, I've started making some small changes to my daily routine...partly due to this challenge. Also because I can feel the level of responsibility rise back up the more I am using my tools. Even small things like cleaning my medical supplies or loading the dishwasher....or cleaning and organizing are a little more difficult for me being in a wheelchair.....BUT! I can do them....and I can also ask for help. The only times I get angry with myself is when I can feel I am just expecting someone to do it for me.
I've battled internally with growing up for a long time. It's pretty hard when a lot of your archetypes come from Disney characters. =) Tinkerbell!!! Haha
What has given me a lot of joy in my life regardless of being in a wheelchair or not, is being in service to others. I have always loved being a listening ear or a helpful hand. I actually love cleaning and feng shui.....and most of all putting a smile on someone else's cheeks.
Perhaps it just depends on the purpose I am giving to my love of "little" things =) Am I empowering myself or giving away my source? This is and perhaps will be a great exploration as I prepare to make some new and exciting changes in my environment and lifestyle.
I am sending love and gratitude.
So grateful for the beautiful and "little" things in life.
Laurie =)
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