Today I have been doing a lot of restructuring, resting, and re-organizing. I have explored some areas where I was feeling very dense and solidified in certain perspectives. It was cleansing, renewing, and insightful.
In my personal growth work I have noticed that I get very tired and exhausted when I am not paying attention to what my "attention" is on...also the motivations behind certain behaviors or choices can seem to be operating on automatic which plays into those times when I feel out of control of the circumstances of my life.
This is something that I know spreads across the globe....I feel its there because we are still operating through some very interesting filters that keep us separate....and asleep.
I'm incredibly grateful to have tools that can pick me up off the floor very easily and quickly. Those creations that seem to feel huge and have no edges (they feel all-encompassing right!?) are not completely draining my attention anymore. I can notice it....feel it....perhaps I'll even feel the suffering of the beliefs I am holding a little....whatever I need to feel to move through to a viewpoint shift and really own myself as the source being in my life.
In many ways I have reached an abyss in my consciousness. A new domain. A new level. Whatever I want to call it.....I can't quite understand it yet because it feels like I could pick any direction from here. There is so much "I DON'T KNOW!"
Exploring into the unknown can be really freaky. My mind likes to talk me out of it....and I am now learning to discern between a mind that wants to stay safe....and an intuition that senses a real danger. I used to just plunder over my intuition.....its honestly how I landed myself in a wheelchair. I "thought" my mind was being dumb when really it was my intuition sensing a real danger for me. I rebelled against my higher self and walked into an unstable situation. Lesson learned and heard loud and clear!
Interesting though....I wouldn't take back any of it. I have been shown so much through my experiences and I have moved mountains in my consciousness. You never really know how you are going to learn lessons....but if you are willing to go a different route and be courageous enough to go for it, you can find the lessons tucked into every relationship, interaction, and situation.
When we have completely shut off our emotions, our feelings, and our connections with others because we are so trapped in our autopilot mind....we can have a more difficult time discerning what is "right" for us. My intuition has tugged on my shoulders, screamed in my ear, and yanked on my pant leg and still I would ignore it... saying "shut up" accompanied by an eye roll that I would give my mother.....often mistaking my sacred intuitive self for some worried parent in my head.
I didn't know how to predict.....I didn't know how to feel anything around me or let alone within. I didn't know that it was ok to NOT know! and I certainly didn't know that I was holding myself back by holding fixed "I am right, you are wrong" viewpoints.
What a trap it can feel like!
.....perhaps this is the wave we are all riding...creating...and learning through.
But now I have glimpsed what is possible regardless of "not knowing."
We CAN create into the void of awareness. There are wonderful role models in my life that have paved a path to show others that we can move through these seemingly huge unknowns and black holes in consciousness.
....As soon as I let go of resisting and start being ok with "not knowing!"
Namaste my friends,
Laurie
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Little things...Little me
I've noticed this week how I have wanted to stay small and have been attracted to anything related to being "little" =)
Part of this feels like I am meant to be a beacon for children. I am very playful and child-like in my personality. I can do the same activity with even the littlest piece of paper for hours and find some way to stay entertained and keep a child smiling. These are a part of my gift to humanity.
But then there is the "staying small" part.....I've noticed that as a default pattern in uncomfortable situations...or just plain NOT taking personal responsibility....that I actually create myself as though I am still a child. I have handed over all responsibility and feel sort of trapped in these areas. Very interesting!
Well, I've started making some small changes to my daily routine...partly due to this challenge. Also because I can feel the level of responsibility rise back up the more I am using my tools. Even small things like cleaning my medical supplies or loading the dishwasher....or cleaning and organizing are a little more difficult for me being in a wheelchair.....BUT! I can do them....and I can also ask for help. The only times I get angry with myself is when I can feel I am just expecting someone to do it for me.
I've battled internally with growing up for a long time. It's pretty hard when a lot of your archetypes come from Disney characters. =) Tinkerbell!!! Haha
What has given me a lot of joy in my life regardless of being in a wheelchair or not, is being in service to others. I have always loved being a listening ear or a helpful hand. I actually love cleaning and feng shui.....and most of all putting a smile on someone else's cheeks.
Perhaps it just depends on the purpose I am giving to my love of "little" things =) Am I empowering myself or giving away my source? This is and perhaps will be a great exploration as I prepare to make some new and exciting changes in my environment and lifestyle.
I am sending love and gratitude.
So grateful for the beautiful and "little" things in life.
Laurie =)
Part of this feels like I am meant to be a beacon for children. I am very playful and child-like in my personality. I can do the same activity with even the littlest piece of paper for hours and find some way to stay entertained and keep a child smiling. These are a part of my gift to humanity.
But then there is the "staying small" part.....I've noticed that as a default pattern in uncomfortable situations...or just plain NOT taking personal responsibility....that I actually create myself as though I am still a child. I have handed over all responsibility and feel sort of trapped in these areas. Very interesting!
Well, I've started making some small changes to my daily routine...partly due to this challenge. Also because I can feel the level of responsibility rise back up the more I am using my tools. Even small things like cleaning my medical supplies or loading the dishwasher....or cleaning and organizing are a little more difficult for me being in a wheelchair.....BUT! I can do them....and I can also ask for help. The only times I get angry with myself is when I can feel I am just expecting someone to do it for me.
I've battled internally with growing up for a long time. It's pretty hard when a lot of your archetypes come from Disney characters. =) Tinkerbell!!! Haha
What has given me a lot of joy in my life regardless of being in a wheelchair or not, is being in service to others. I have always loved being a listening ear or a helpful hand. I actually love cleaning and feng shui.....and most of all putting a smile on someone else's cheeks.
Perhaps it just depends on the purpose I am giving to my love of "little" things =) Am I empowering myself or giving away my source? This is and perhaps will be a great exploration as I prepare to make some new and exciting changes in my environment and lifestyle.
I am sending love and gratitude.
So grateful for the beautiful and "little" things in life.
Laurie =)
Stretching through it
What makes Your Heart Sing?
It's so interesting to me how easily we can get caught in the trap of daily living and survival mode. Our Will drops to the level of "tell me what to do...." and our attention is scattered across pages of "to do" lists and unfinished creations. Can anyone else relate?
Well....my life has been in this swirl of thinking positively and then being swept into the lower realms of my mind.....you know those thoughts that just have their own broken record? The ones that say "I can't....I can't.....I should.....I'll never get to....." Yea! These kinds of thoughts evoke some pretty rough emotions in my universe. You too? Yea I had a feeling.....
Personally, there is nothing worse than being told by my own mind that "I can't" do something. It's so funny to really own this as mine though....because I am so used to the old game of blaming other people for thinking I am inadequate and playing the "I'll show you" moves.
Guess what is really cool? The biggest critic in my life is my own mind.....when it is being run on autopilot. Why cool? I can change it.
SO now, I can see where to start breaking ground and laying down some new beliefs to create a foundation that is easier to live my life through.
We always seem to have this choice point in our lives....where what we want and what we are experiencing just don't seem to match up.
I'm learning to take these moments and start my inward journey. I use the Avatar® tools to look at my beliefs or explore various ways of integrating a pattern...sometimes a "small" thing becomes a cryfest....and other times a "huge" thing just disintegrates with a chuckle and an "OHHHhhh hahahahah"
Consciousness is weird. =)
So that's all for today....my life may not be perfect....but at least I can see a little more clearly and have a smile through the home stretch.
Happy Exploring.
May we all take an inward journey and find who we really are in this lifetime.
My love,
Laurie
Avatar® is a registered trademark of Star's Edge, Inc. All rights reserved.
Disclaimer~ The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent Star's Edge International's positions, strategies, or opinions.
It's so interesting to me how easily we can get caught in the trap of daily living and survival mode. Our Will drops to the level of "tell me what to do...." and our attention is scattered across pages of "to do" lists and unfinished creations. Can anyone else relate?
Well....my life has been in this swirl of thinking positively and then being swept into the lower realms of my mind.....you know those thoughts that just have their own broken record? The ones that say "I can't....I can't.....I should.....I'll never get to....." Yea! These kinds of thoughts evoke some pretty rough emotions in my universe. You too? Yea I had a feeling.....
Personally, there is nothing worse than being told by my own mind that "I can't" do something. It's so funny to really own this as mine though....because I am so used to the old game of blaming other people for thinking I am inadequate and playing the "I'll show you" moves.
Guess what is really cool? The biggest critic in my life is my own mind.....when it is being run on autopilot. Why cool? I can change it.
SO now, I can see where to start breaking ground and laying down some new beliefs to create a foundation that is easier to live my life through.
We always seem to have this choice point in our lives....where what we want and what we are experiencing just don't seem to match up.
I'm learning to take these moments and start my inward journey. I use the Avatar® tools to look at my beliefs or explore various ways of integrating a pattern...sometimes a "small" thing becomes a cryfest....and other times a "huge" thing just disintegrates with a chuckle and an "OHHHhhh hahahahah"
Consciousness is weird. =)
So that's all for today....my life may not be perfect....but at least I can see a little more clearly and have a smile through the home stretch.
Happy Exploring.
May we all take an inward journey and find who we really are in this lifetime.
My love,
Laurie
Avatar® is a registered trademark of Star's Edge, Inc. All rights reserved.
Disclaimer~ The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent Star's Edge International's positions, strategies, or opinions.
"The Heroes Journey"
Today I attended a really fun meetup and we watched this entire movie. It is a beautiful creation to show us some of Joseph Campbell's work and studies. See below...
"Finding Joe is an exploration of famed Mythologist Joseph Campbell's studies and their continuing impact on our culture. Through interviews with visionaries from a variety of fields interwoven with enactments of classic tales by a sweet and motley group of kids, the film navigates the stages of what Campbell dubbed The Hero's Journey: the challenges, the fears, the dragons, the battles, and the return home as a changed person. Rooted in deeply personal accounts and timeless stories, Finding Joe shows how Campbell's work is relevant and essential in today's world and how it provides a narrative for how to live a fully realized life - or as Campbell would simply state, how to "follow your bliss"."
While watching this I felt incredibly blessed for the tools that I already have that have let me experience so much of what this movie is about. What I am most excited to share with you all is that...at least I feel....THIS JOURNEY NEVER ENDS! How exciting to really feel the turning of the wheel....
We are living a beautiful opportunity for growth through the lessons that these journeys take us on....and how amazing to find ways in which we can awaken to even greater amounts of awareness. In the bigger picture...we all are helping turn this planet into something greater than it was yesterday. We have a future to create and if you are looking for some really beautiful encouragement to keep going on whatever part of this path you are on, then I recommend seeing this movie!
We all have dragons to greet......
In fact, this movie shed a lot of light upon a dream that I am going to share with you now. From September 17th, 2009 when I kept this really fun dream journal and had LOTS of conscious dream and vivid dream experiences.....
 | |
| Dream Journal |
 |
| "High Tech Towers" =) |
I'm trying to be careful as I hide - then I'm in one of the tallest towers hiding behind something with a handle bar - the creature is looking in and the tower is teetering back and forth. The creature knows I'm there - Then all of the sudden the creature has shrunk down to my size. I look at it, it's like a cartoon like friendly looking...but a dragon. I say, "You're small enough now so that I can hug you. When we hug there is an immediate pull and we make out in this orgasmic swirl. I'm thinking in my head that this doesn't seem right....is this creature a boy or a girl? Both? I give in to the creature.....when we are finished we are back down in the village. The creature is barely there and tells me I am the leader of the village now. I walk - I have a jangly skirt (bells....like a belly dancer) on.....wearing all black? As I walk there are people laying down side by side in "corpse pose" making a path - I put my hands by my side with palms facing out - angel of Grace - and as I walk they smile and stand - I am wishing for the whole village to stand and feel peace"
OK WOW ~ so this dream has stuck with me for years now and upon watching "Finding Joe," I see that this signifies the "Heroes Journey" ~ and also my feeling that I have been called to awaken beings....and also heal. Interesting that this dream came before I was paralyzed and how somehow through my own journey..... I am to help others "STAND UP"
 |
| Ommmmm |
My love and Gratitude.
Laurie
 | |
| Notes from the Journal ~ Books to read.... |
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Integration and Free Attention
Being me and doing more....
Each day has brought some new movement and interesting pieces of integration.
Today I woke up and had the grace of coaching 3 people through Avatar® exercises. This really helped me move forward into action. I feel ready and inspired to keep stretching, bring it on!
I decided to take a look at something that any person with any physical challenge such as spinal cord injury may have a hard time looking at...body limitations. After my shower I explored with an Avatar tool that helps you to dis-create what you choose and then deliberately decide what you would like to create in regards to body impressions. This brought instant release, insight, and new motivation to take more responsibility.
Then I chose another powerful tool and ran myself through the process. I almost immediately hit an emotional vortex that I have been apparently creating "over" for quite some time. In only 20 minutes I feel like I went on a journey that spanned a lifetime if not lifetimes of pain, sadness, and a whole lot of self criticism.
Now at the end of today, I have a very different perspective of my body and a new motivation to create forward. In fact.....I am feeling that the next "21 day challenge" will be geared toward overcoming the physical slacking off....so perhaps a 21 day Stand and Walk challenge to see how much I can actually do.
I realize I didn't give much detail about this challenge I chose. SO ~ why this Challenge to "Be me and Do more" ?
Well, I've been seeing myself starting to settle into a dusty self and I was ready to reinvigorate my creative side and take bigger action steps in my life. I want to move towards what I feel I am capable of creating.
So I decided to do these 5 things each day for 22 days......
1~ Some form of body care or exercise
2~ Exploring at least one Avatar tool to integrate moving forward in my life as source
3~ Do anything creative
4~ Taking a small action step
5~ Share wins, document insights, and blog
I'm really enjoying the process...and boy has it turned up some long "unfelt" "feeeeelings"!!! ~ but never have I been so grateful to cry.....because I always wanted to know how "other people" could cry so easily at something sad or even something joyful! I was so shut down to feeling before I took the Avatar course 3 years ago. The process of using the tools has gently and compassionately guided me back into my heart so that when I decide to look into areas of fixed attention....I can feel what is really there. I feel that I am actually moving forward instead of pretending I am ok....saying everything is light....and forcing a "no worries" attitude.
And the band keeps playing on!!! ~ Ready for some big changes and loving the small steps of the journey. I am learning to appreciate that my BIG dreams are going to take some time, some patience, and some mistakes along the way to be created.
Sending my love and gratitude out into the world.
Love, Laurie
Avatar® is a registered trademark of Star's Edge, Inc. All rights reserved.
Disclaimer~ The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent Star's Edge International's positions, strategies, or opinions.
Each day has brought some new movement and interesting pieces of integration.
Today I woke up and had the grace of coaching 3 people through Avatar® exercises. This really helped me move forward into action. I feel ready and inspired to keep stretching, bring it on!
I decided to take a look at something that any person with any physical challenge such as spinal cord injury may have a hard time looking at...body limitations. After my shower I explored with an Avatar tool that helps you to dis-create what you choose and then deliberately decide what you would like to create in regards to body impressions. This brought instant release, insight, and new motivation to take more responsibility.
Then I chose another powerful tool and ran myself through the process. I almost immediately hit an emotional vortex that I have been apparently creating "over" for quite some time. In only 20 minutes I feel like I went on a journey that spanned a lifetime if not lifetimes of pain, sadness, and a whole lot of self criticism.
Now at the end of today, I have a very different perspective of my body and a new motivation to create forward. In fact.....I am feeling that the next "21 day challenge" will be geared toward overcoming the physical slacking off....so perhaps a 21 day Stand and Walk challenge to see how much I can actually do.
I realize I didn't give much detail about this challenge I chose. SO ~ why this Challenge to "Be me and Do more" ?
Well, I've been seeing myself starting to settle into a dusty self and I was ready to reinvigorate my creative side and take bigger action steps in my life. I want to move towards what I feel I am capable of creating.
So I decided to do these 5 things each day for 22 days......
1~ Some form of body care or exercise
2~ Exploring at least one Avatar tool to integrate moving forward in my life as source
3~ Do anything creative
4~ Taking a small action step
5~ Share wins, document insights, and blog
I'm really enjoying the process...and boy has it turned up some long "unfelt" "feeeeelings"!!! ~ but never have I been so grateful to cry.....because I always wanted to know how "other people" could cry so easily at something sad or even something joyful! I was so shut down to feeling before I took the Avatar course 3 years ago. The process of using the tools has gently and compassionately guided me back into my heart so that when I decide to look into areas of fixed attention....I can feel what is really there. I feel that I am actually moving forward instead of pretending I am ok....saying everything is light....and forcing a "no worries" attitude.
And the band keeps playing on!!! ~ Ready for some big changes and loving the small steps of the journey. I am learning to appreciate that my BIG dreams are going to take some time, some patience, and some mistakes along the way to be created.
Sending my love and gratitude out into the world.
Love, Laurie
Avatar® is a registered trademark of Star's Edge, Inc. All rights reserved.
Disclaimer~ The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent Star's Edge International's positions, strategies, or opinions.
Challenging the challenge
Well. Depends on how you look at it.....
From one perspective today was pretty cool, lots of moving forward in creating for a new business, lots of accomplishment. But also, there was the weather.....there was Wal-Mart.....there was being an annoying daughter in reactive mode......etc.
It's interesting where I decide to put the attention when I come home to look at how I've traveled through time and space today. I can literally hear the voices of analyzing, self judgement, and criticism.
When times like these are brought to my attention, I would like to say that I know what I am doing. haha ~ though I "know" a lot, I'm so ready to let go and surrender to the unknown.
I did more of a focused activity today that took my time.....I wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor at an event.....only for it to rain at the end of it all =) Ahhhhh..... sometimes we create interesting life challenges where we are stuck here smiling at ourselves (or feeling pissed).....asking the question...."Now then why would I have spent my time doing "that?" ~ I am still feeling the gratitude for being here to experience so many aspects of living.
Another day of moving forward....putting in the small steps, and learning, integrating, growing, and deliberately shifting my attention to making the best out of what is happening!!!
Perhaps today was a big push forward without me really knowing.....cuz you never do know. =)
My love,
Laurie
From one perspective today was pretty cool, lots of moving forward in creating for a new business, lots of accomplishment. But also, there was the weather.....there was Wal-Mart.....there was being an annoying daughter in reactive mode......etc.
It's interesting where I decide to put the attention when I come home to look at how I've traveled through time and space today. I can literally hear the voices of analyzing, self judgement, and criticism.
When times like these are brought to my attention, I would like to say that I know what I am doing. haha ~ though I "know" a lot, I'm so ready to let go and surrender to the unknown.
I did more of a focused activity today that took my time.....I wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor at an event.....only for it to rain at the end of it all =) Ahhhhh..... sometimes we create interesting life challenges where we are stuck here smiling at ourselves (or feeling pissed).....asking the question...."Now then why would I have spent my time doing "that?" ~ I am still feeling the gratitude for being here to experience so many aspects of living.
Another day of moving forward....putting in the small steps, and learning, integrating, growing, and deliberately shifting my attention to making the best out of what is happening!!!
Perhaps today was a big push forward without me really knowing.....cuz you never do know. =)
My love,
Laurie
Thursday, August 13, 2015
New Blog ~ Day ONE
Yes, It may be a little late but here I am typing at midnight.
I've had a very creative day one of this challenge. I was able to move through any discouragement in my space and really start creating more. I have had some interesting experiences lately regarding my health, my relationships, family, home, money, wow.....almost every aspect of my life has been going through major re-evaluation and change lately.
I have found myself (or my mind, that is) asking lots of questions about what I really want to give more of in my life right now. I have been blessed with such a talent for creativity and sometimes I get overwhelmed with the amount of ideas that I can have in just one day. I crave for creativity.....for art, for crafting, for songwriting, for movement. There are times when I literally spin with the excitement and also sort of weird high I get when I am inspired and motivated.
Right now I am about to transition into a new living space, a new wheelchair (YES a sparkly one), and possibly add on a new job. My family dynamic is shifting.....people I thought would be in my life forever are no longer there.....people are also coming back into my space that I thought had left. What a whirlwind!
What I always find comforting for me is that this is evidence that I am ready to stretch into the next "me." I know and trust in my intuition that everything is restructuring to create the space for me to really step up, show up, and Rise UP to live my life purpose in a more stable and free way. My heart knows I am ready for this change....to take on the responsibility of really creating a financial freedom to support myself and others.
I've even had a recent viewpoint shift that allowed me to visualize and actually feel the reality of creating a family life.....you know the "normal" life that I never thought I would have!!! Yes....I can clearly see myself as a beautiful and happy pregannt woman in a wheelchair. I don't doubt that there is a way and a path for this creation and I'm not sure if I will step into that reality....but I know it's there and I finally let myself feel it instead of resisting it.
Whatever this feeling is....it is fascinating me. I can see how I have spent a lot of attention and energy trying to not be like everyone else....not be so normal....and in doing that I have struggled to survive, had less stable of relationships, and failed to create a solid financial foundation for myself.
Well you know what higher self? Universe? I am READY to be normal....except in finally allowing myself to live a human life that is more stable....I am going to make every simple thing sacred. I am determined to bring my normal self and normal life into a sacred space of simplicity, reverence, gratitude, and AWESOMENESS. I decide to create an extra-Ordinary life just being me.
As for who this will be with....I truly don't know. Whenever I think I have found that someone...life seems to pull into other directions. I do feel that we all cross paths for a reason...to learn certain lessons, develop different parts of ourselves, see what we are resisting.....most importantly we have opportunities to learn love and compassion for ourselves and others.
plus...I have changed so much over the last year.
I'm driving myself around....giving other friends rides who need them (huge karmic reward). I had no idea what I had been missing for those 3 years. I thought I had the world then....but NOW! watch out .....I'm making a huge comeback!
I also dated someone for the first time since my injury.....and it was so beautiful and awesome. I learned a lot and I'm so grateful to have taken that step as a woman in a wheelchair. I guess I didn't truly feel (even though I "knew") that I could be seen in that way....that someone could totally not have attention on the chair...just on "me" and me. It is so shocking to find that any idea I was holding that a person wouldn't really want to date a girl in a wheelchair, is gone. Thanks to this experience.
There is more here to write about but for now I'm off to sleep and integrate my day one.
I'm so incredibly grateful for life today, for my creative gifts, for the new moon, for friendship, for my sweet mother, for intuition, for guidance from above, and for the smile inside me that bursts out when I am directing my attention towards my purpose......when I shine for others, it lets my heart out again.
Excited to share more with everyone.
I am so loved and blessed.....love to all of you and thank you for the shared journey as always.
Love, Laurie
PS ~ This is a new blog....as I was locked out of my old Google account. If you want to read more of my journey from 2010-2015 please go to this link here ~ https://orchidsandfireworks.blogspot.com
I've had a very creative day one of this challenge. I was able to move through any discouragement in my space and really start creating more. I have had some interesting experiences lately regarding my health, my relationships, family, home, money, wow.....almost every aspect of my life has been going through major re-evaluation and change lately.
I have found myself (or my mind, that is) asking lots of questions about what I really want to give more of in my life right now. I have been blessed with such a talent for creativity and sometimes I get overwhelmed with the amount of ideas that I can have in just one day. I crave for creativity.....for art, for crafting, for songwriting, for movement. There are times when I literally spin with the excitement and also sort of weird high I get when I am inspired and motivated.
Right now I am about to transition into a new living space, a new wheelchair (YES a sparkly one), and possibly add on a new job. My family dynamic is shifting.....people I thought would be in my life forever are no longer there.....people are also coming back into my space that I thought had left. What a whirlwind!
What I always find comforting for me is that this is evidence that I am ready to stretch into the next "me." I know and trust in my intuition that everything is restructuring to create the space for me to really step up, show up, and Rise UP to live my life purpose in a more stable and free way. My heart knows I am ready for this change....to take on the responsibility of really creating a financial freedom to support myself and others.
I've even had a recent viewpoint shift that allowed me to visualize and actually feel the reality of creating a family life.....you know the "normal" life that I never thought I would have!!! Yes....I can clearly see myself as a beautiful and happy pregannt woman in a wheelchair. I don't doubt that there is a way and a path for this creation and I'm not sure if I will step into that reality....but I know it's there and I finally let myself feel it instead of resisting it.
Whatever this feeling is....it is fascinating me. I can see how I have spent a lot of attention and energy trying to not be like everyone else....not be so normal....and in doing that I have struggled to survive, had less stable of relationships, and failed to create a solid financial foundation for myself.
Well you know what higher self? Universe? I am READY to be normal....except in finally allowing myself to live a human life that is more stable....I am going to make every simple thing sacred. I am determined to bring my normal self and normal life into a sacred space of simplicity, reverence, gratitude, and AWESOMENESS. I decide to create an extra-Ordinary life just being me.
As for who this will be with....I truly don't know. Whenever I think I have found that someone...life seems to pull into other directions. I do feel that we all cross paths for a reason...to learn certain lessons, develop different parts of ourselves, see what we are resisting.....most importantly we have opportunities to learn love and compassion for ourselves and others.
plus...I have changed so much over the last year.
I'm driving myself around....giving other friends rides who need them (huge karmic reward). I had no idea what I had been missing for those 3 years. I thought I had the world then....but NOW! watch out .....I'm making a huge comeback!
I also dated someone for the first time since my injury.....and it was so beautiful and awesome. I learned a lot and I'm so grateful to have taken that step as a woman in a wheelchair. I guess I didn't truly feel (even though I "knew") that I could be seen in that way....that someone could totally not have attention on the chair...just on "me" and me. It is so shocking to find that any idea I was holding that a person wouldn't really want to date a girl in a wheelchair, is gone. Thanks to this experience.
There is more here to write about but for now I'm off to sleep and integrate my day one.
I'm so incredibly grateful for life today, for my creative gifts, for the new moon, for friendship, for my sweet mother, for intuition, for guidance from above, and for the smile inside me that bursts out when I am directing my attention towards my purpose......when I shine for others, it lets my heart out again.
Excited to share more with everyone.
I am so loved and blessed.....love to all of you and thank you for the shared journey as always.
Love, Laurie
PS ~ This is a new blog....as I was locked out of my old Google account. If you want to read more of my journey from 2010-2015 please go to this link here ~ https://orchidsandfireworks.blogspot.com
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